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Apr 11, 2016

Raising Boys in a Feminist World

As a mother of boys my perspective on feminism has changed so much. 

I follow "A Mighty Girl" and have decided not all feminism is a twisted way for yet another person to speak for us collectively as women in regards to our social and political views. Our Fore-mothers have done so much to make the life I know and live possible and to discount that would be be selfish and wrong. I still take issue with unreasonable accommodation or the thought that jobs would be given BECAUSE of gender to fit some affirmative action law instead of being granted because of MERIT... but I have seen first hand how incredibly sexist the work place can still be in 2016. 

There are still legitimate cultural barriers for women today, so the work of feminism marches forward, and my part largely will be the work I do within the walls of my own home. I liked the idea of raising a strong, brave, smart girl who is confident enough to be feminine and supportive of her man without the guilt of betraying the feminist movement and assertive at work and in her community without the shame of being "bossy" or "bitchy" because she is a well spoken woman instead of a well spoken man.

I feel that traditional gender roles do not in anyway take away from progressive change for women when fulfilled with a sense of integrity. I'm not likely to have a girl (since i'm pretty sure we are done after this one) but I'll have 3 boys who will one day be 3 men. These men will see women as strong capable partners. They will know how to treat them with respect because their father treats me with respect. Good men who are not ashamed of their masculinity, and have a strong enough sense of self to know that masculinity and kindness are not mutually exclusive but are actually one in the same; are just as important as strong women who are not embarrassed by their femininity and know that soft can be strong.  I am honored to get to raise 3 of them and pray that I do an adequate job of showing them what a woman can be. As a stay at home mom I can show them how women cook, clean and nurture but also how they work, lead, learn and teach. The work I do will shape how they see, and talk about, and date women. So all you parents out there raising valiant, fierce, beautiful girls can rest safe knowing there are strong, loving, capable men for them to marry. The work I do will redeem the next generation from the threat of undervaluing men or putting the pressure on women to "do it all" when doing what they love is enough by setting a mold for strong families.

And if that's not powerful, I don't know what is.

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