Why every mom needs a sister

I walk in to dinner with my sister and start with out skipping a beat:

 "The other day I had a funny thought that I got up to run to the store and leave you with the kids and you were like "Where do you think your going?" 

So I said "To buy toilet paper and Pepsi" 

"You can't leave me with all the kids" 

"Watch me" 

"You do and I'll give them all juice and let them watch paw patrol the whole time" 

"You wouldn't" 

"I would"

 "Then I'll tell them about the leftover cake in the fridge and that you will share with whomever can cut this price of paper into the smallest pieces" 

"I'll let them craft with glitter on your carpet" 

"I introduce your 6 year old to beat boxing" 

"I'll buy all of your kids recorders for Christmas" .... 

At this point she is just smiling and nodding barely able to control her laughter, only it's not because she thinks I'm funny.  It's because a Goodrich can't help but laugh at her own joke (It's science). Even if she just has the one joke because it always works.

  "...Leggings are not pants" 

"Mom bun is not a hair style" 

"Diet Pepsi is not breakfast" 

Then she cracks.

"And then what happened Christina?" 

and we are rolling. 

Because only a sister can crack you up with the same question every time you take off on a long winded imaginative tangent and drag them along for the ride. (Which is way more often than I care to admit) Only a sister will listen to said tangent then spend the next twenty minutes making up good mom insults with you and try to record a video of said disses to save for posterity or a really humiliating family reunion. Only a sister will talk about the same struggles over and over with newfound encouragement and wisdom very time you mom fail and have genuine excitement when your 2 year old poops in the potty without an incentive. 

Then there is my other sister. The one who asks for advice she never takes and tells me my political ideas are stupid to my face (while everyone else is making the crazy sign when they think I'm not looking) she is so blunt it drives me crazy. The only other person I know who even comes close to telling it like it is the way she does is... me. (It's funny how what draws you to others is what you see in your self too) We don't always get along but we always have each others back and there is something to be said for fierce loyalty in a PC world. The funny thing is though, the more different we become the more I love her, because when you love someone different than you, you love their soul and can see the best in them even when they can't. If you're good to each other you point it out. Having a bond like sisterhood too means that you forgive faster, love deeper, and can be more honest sooner than you can in other friendships. Which gives you the grace to be your real, genuine, unfiltered self knowing that even if they think you're nuts they are not going anywhere and love you anyway.

As much as I love my sisters the fact is I have many more sisters. Sister in laws that are every much family in my heart as if they had always been there. Friends who showed up (when I was laid out on the floor and couldn't move and did my laundry) or weren't afraid to get very real and very personal when I just needed to be seen as an interesting individual instead of just my favorite title "mom". 

Motherhood has its own challenges and sweet rewards and women need sister's to share it (and sometimes bare it) with. Women who know them as a sister, a friend, a woman, AND a mom. All the little prices that make up who we are and when to call out and strengthen each piece. Women are social creatures and sometimes men, God bless them, don't get it. Not in a way a sister in the trenches does. Not in the way someone who has the perspective of knowing us as an awkward teen, ambitious graduate, fawning newlywed, or nervous new mom (or whatever stage they came into our life) to remind us how far we have come or the spark that is still in us. Sometimes we just need added feminine intuition or encouragement to trust our own. Sometimes we just need a reminder of who we are beyond our titles and duties. Having sisters helps us keep our sense of self alive in the most joyful way.

If you don't have a sister, reach out to another mom. She gets it and if she gets you, then you've found an invaluable treasure that will see YOU through everything life throws your way. Someone who will call you out on your crazy, laugh with you, cry with you, or just bring you chocolate and sit with you quietly on the days that are just too much. Because what is a sister but another woman who knows you best and sticks with you through it all.

Replace Instant Information with Wonder and Curiosity

Is it just me or do people seem to know less and have more opinions than ever before? I mean just
think back to the last constructive or thought provoking discussion you had. When was that? Are these conversations as often as you'd like them? 

In the information age we do not need to KNOW anything. Everything is right at our fingertips from calculators to recipes to our favorite places to comparison shop without getting off the couch! In fact we don't even have to type our questions in anymore; Just ask our phone and simple quarries are answered right back to us! Technology has eliminated our need to remember metric conversions, steak cook times, our friends phone numbers and favorite restaurant's hours of operation. We also don't need to remember the things we look up purely out of curiosity like "Where do otters sleep?" because if we ever get curious about it later we can look it up again and our wonderment is immediately satisfied and forgotten like a fast food meal.

This technological miracle has changed our lives forever and it's also changing our culture. Just think about how our kids have never known a world without Google... Many of them grew up sucking on our smartphones (don't even get me started on why a parent would use a $500 computer as a chew toy!) They see you tube videos, play games, and get instant gratification to any question that crosses their mind whether or not we have a clue. (Like when my son asked if chickens ate corn dogs). I've noticed that my preschooler is way smarter than I was at his age for this reason but I also wonder how much of it will stick. 

When I was a kid in school I learned pretty quickly that if I "studied" for a test the night before I could retain the information just long enough to regurgitate it on an exam. I did great in school but I shamefully admit that even with a college degree I'm not very educated. I just learned the system and our kids will too.

Their system is one that tells them they don't need to pay attention to lectures or books. If they NEED the information they'll look it up WHEN they need it. For this reason they don't need to remember what they look up either. Obviously some of it will stick but popular psychology has shown that information we don't inherently deem as important is disregarded for to make room for incoming information. Now here is the kicker. THERE IS ALWAYS INCOMING INFORMATION!! We are so bombarded by information our minds literally cannot process it all. So things become more catchy and flashy and bait-clicky. Instead of reading articles we are reading headlines, bullet points, and comments for a summary. In fact if you are still reading this I'm impressed. What do you think this is doing to their attention spans? Their persistence? How will they value listening to others in a selfie, 120 character "tweet about me" world?

I contest that wondering is good. 

For our kids AND for us. Next time you want to know what the type of painting you saw at the farmers market is, or how to cook eggplant I suggest that instead of hopping on the internet you ask around. Doing this for insight or knowledge is great for relationships! It creates meaningful conversations, sparks curiosity in others, adds value to your friendships as they feel needed and respected for the useful things they know, takes your knowledge beyond the test line answer, and can expand your horizons to new topics and ideas. Doing this will spark your creativity in new directions and change your perspective and preconceived notions of both the topic and your friends. Furthermore it is really connecting with those we love most or are interested in knowing better.

You can also try finding out the scientific way. Create a hypothesis, test it out, evaluate what you've discovered.

Read a book! Or a magazine, or some other physical piece of paper that was written with the express purpose of answering your quarry. Things that are topic specific have richer information written by people passionate about that subject. Just think about how much more interesting it would be to read about an american red chested robin from an ornithologist than from Wikipedia!

Another idea to keep wonder alive is to question your question. WHY do you wonder who the vice presidential candidate for the upcoming election will be, WHAT caused the tomatoes to be SO big this year, etc.

Dig Deeper. Add substance and depth to your understanding.

Or simply ponder. Let you mind stick on how to get the potatoes to crisp on the outside and turn soft on the inside, when you come across the answer by reading it in a book, or talking to a friend, or experimenting for the 15th time it will be so much more satisfying and you won't forget it.

Yes we have the wonders of technology to to quickly help us guesstimate a mortgage payment or find poison controls phone number but the next time you are planning a vacation start somewhere else and see where it leads you because ultimately:

Technology is a tool, we don't have to let it be a master.

12 Things You Can Do to Chase the Blues Away

We've all been there. Stuck in a rut, tired, discouraged. Maybe it's a little cabin fever from the never ending dark winter months. Maybe it's the spring "school burnout" that that hits public and homeschoolers alike. Dare I even mention postpartum blues or depression? My point is that we all have the ups and downs for one reason or another and sometimes it takes more than a "shift in attitude" to break out of a funk.

I have suffered from depression a few times now and I'm not about to make light of the subject because for some there definitely is a chemical component or deeper issue that needs to be addressed. If you show signs of depression for more than 2 weeks PLEASE get some professional help because trust me you are loved and needed and they can help you feel like yourself again.

For me though I find I can usually head it off with a few simple changes:

1. Wake up! I know not everyone is a morning person and I could wax poetic about the benefits of starting your day earlier but whatever your wake up time is DO NOT sleep in. Do not mumble around the house half asleep either. When it is time to wake up start moving on your morning routine. Since we are moms I would also strongly suggest waking up before your kids or at least with them, this will feel like you have a head start advantage, having even a few minutes of quiet "me time" will be so surprisingly refreshing you may become obsessed and they won't have the time to make BIG messes before the day even starts. It also sets the tone that mom is in control and ready to take on the day (even if you are not quite there yet) which will give them a feeling of security and comfort. I know it's hard but really what quality of sleep are you getting when they are already up anyway and how fun is it to wake up to a mess or a fight? This one is a game changer.

2. Get Dressed, and I don't just mean clean yoga pants. Start your day with a fresh outfit and do your hair even if you are staying home for the day. If you are into jewelry wear it, if make up is your thing find a way to put your face on before you leave the house. I personally always feel better with some cute toenails but whatever it is that makes you feel like you would be happy to run into someone you know, get your self to that point at the start of your day.

3. Clean. I don't mean clean your whole house or break out the white gloves I mean tidy up the space you are going to be living in for the day (usually the kitchen or living room) You will feel like you've accomplished something at the start of your day which may set "getting things done" attitude in motion or at least you can't bemoan having done nothing all day when life gets real. You will also have a blank slate to start from and would be surprised at how much more peaceful the kids are in a clean peaceful environment, suddenly the "I'm bored" turns into creative play. It's also a good way to practice being more mindful and in the moment as you wipe down counters or re shelve books. This is also a great one to get the kids out of their funk too. Working on a project together will help bond you and give them a sense of accomplishment.

4. Do one thing to Set Yourself up for Success. Whether that is starting a load of laundry because you notice your kids are on their last pair of pajamas, starting the dishwasher so you don't have to scrounge for spoons, make a grocery list before going to the store, or putting dinner in the crock-pot because you know that evening is going to be crazy. Do one thing where later you can say "Thanks past self, you really got my back".

5. Go Outside! Seriously, even if it is just to the front lawn or if it is cold outside then leave the house to run an errand or grab a soda. The fresh air will wake up your lungs, you and the kids won't feel couped up or trapped in the house, vitamin D REALLY helps with depression, and there is a lot of detail in a snowflake or garden to help you get out of your own head. I usually like to combine this one with the next one too.

6. Exercise. Especially if you can't be outside very long. Find away for you to move your body by doing a workout video, going tot the gym, an impromptu dance party. Take the kids to a play land or a indoor jump house. I really like doing yoga because the slow stretches leave you feeling refreshed and not flushed and it's something I can do even if I'm dealing with a back injury or a pregnancy. Also when you are down you don't always move very fast but this brings you into intentional movement.

7. Teach your Kids Something New. This isn't a novel concept for homeschoolers but maybe it means stepping away from the curriculum for the day to explore something that caught their interest. Maybe it means talking about their grandma or growing up on a farm. Perhaps you just spend a little more time reading to them, pull out the painting supplies, or let them pick a game to play with you. This connecting with them in a meaningful way will help them feel loved, help you to step out of a routine that may be stifling both your growth and theirs, and help you to see your daily work in a new light.

8. Take a Shower or a bath. Sometimes you just need to clear your head under some running water, be alone, take a few breaths and come back at it. I actually like to shower in the late afternoons. I have long hair that takes several hours to dry and don't want to be held back by it in the morning or go to sleep with wet hair, it also refreshes me the way the naps refresh my kids so I'm ready for the evening rush, but find a time that works for you and some good smelling shampoo :)

9. Call a Friend or better yet meet up with one! I don't mean like their Facebook status or text about the PTA meeting. I mean call them on the phone and ask about their day. This helps you get out of your own horriblizing and pity parties by thinking about others. It's also always fun to talk to someone you connect with and can give  you a fresh perspective. It can also lead to...

10. Do an Act of Service. Yes as moms everything we do is service to our kids, which is great, but I'm talking about getting out of your world and into someone else's. Is there a neighbor who is sick and might like a fresh loaf of bread? Do you know an new mom who could use a few hours of baby sitting? Can your kids make cards for their great grandma and hand deliver them? Can you practice reading with your nephew? or teach your neighbor to cross stitch? Using your talents to bless others helps you feel needed and valued. I find it best when the kids can participate too because then they get to feel the joy of serving, it gives them something to do, and it teaches them how to be aware of the needs of others.

11. Go to Bed. I know that "me time" is so important when you are feeling consumed but do you need 5 hours of it into the middle of the night? What is the quality of the me time you're getting on your 6th episode of binge watching Hulu? By all means take some time to watch a show, catch up on a blog, or have a piece of chocolate but then go to bed early enough that waking up tomorrow wasn't as hard as waking up today. One that goes hand in hand with this is

12. Turn Off Your Screens. It helps you fall asleep quicker and get better rest. It also helps you be present instead of using Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, etc. as an escapist method. Not having our phone to look at constantly helps you face what it is that is bothering you and make better use of our time by being productive, connecting with others, or simply getting more restful sleep.

*Bonus tip* I know not everyone is religious but for me spending time on my knees in prayer and in the Word of God is foundational to feeling peace. I often slip out of these habits but even just asking for help to get through the day can give me so much strength and serenity I couldn't write this post without mentioning the grace that God offers us through his Son that can help us overcome all things. Including ourselves.

What helps you break out of the blues?