Our Home School Philosophy

Every Homeschooler develops their own philosophy that usually evolves with their family over time. It starts with learning about the popular philosophies and deciding which ones fit your family. Over time you create a vision for what you are trying to accomplish and how to take pieces of the popular methods and curriculums to meet that need. Every family is different, so their vision statement and philosophy will be too. Here you can find ours to help you see where I am coming from in my recommendations, values and thought process. Yours will definitely be made to suit your goals and family dynamic but if it helps you get a starting point on framing your child's education then go for it! Feel free to use this as a template.

Our Vision Statement: 
Cultivating Driven Disciples of Christ

Our Mission Statement:
We insight creative problem solving and curiosity while instilling good character.

Statement of Values:

We value Liberty to study what is interesting in a way that works best for you.

We value Work and self regulation to accomplish what needs to be done for a quality well rounded education.

We value Character, the most important thing you can be in this life is kind. The more you love God and yourself the more you can love others and see them the way He does. If you learn nothing else but to be be a honest, kind, hard working person then that is enough.

Our favorite popular philosophies:

• Montessori for when they are young since children learn best through play and self discovery. 
• Unit Studies as a way to see how different subjects are interconnected and get a through understanding of what sparks our passion and what shapes our world. 
• Classical Education for the trivium of grammar, logic, and rhetoric. Learning the rules so you can learn how to think and then express those ideas is a dying art. I also love Latin because it is the base of so much of our language that knowing it is a great tool for decoding the world of science and literature.
• Go Schooling. As a home school family we are in a unique position to go and experience things hands on (like field trips) as often as we plan it. The best way to learn is to do and these are the experiences that will leave a lasting impression the rest of their lives.
• TJED in the sense that we see great value in being self motivated, having personal responsibility, and cultivating leadership.

Each philosophy has its place and its age range in our home. Montessori for Pre-K to 1st grade as we focus on learning the foundations of reading, writing, and math in an active physical way. Unit studies, Go School and Classical education 2nd-7th grade, and Classical education for 8-10th grade with all the tracking they may need for college applications. Ultimately I hope to be done with their high school education by 10th grade, so that they can focus the last two years on getting a leg up over their competition by either working their trade under a mentor/ going to trade school, preparing for or attending college, or running and hopefully failing at several small businesses (since one of our parenting philosophies is to let them make mistakes while the price tags are small). This is the age where the TJED self led meets the rhetoric stage to create articulate adults who master their field and teach/ inspire others.

We also decided to come up with home school name and mascot for field trips, friendly competitions, and in the silly cases where you need to sound like a legitimate school in order to get the educator discounts.

Our Home School Name:

Oak River Academy
We came up with this name because we like the duality of  the hard wood tree that can not only withstand strong winds but is strengthened by them and has deep reaching roots. Against the flowing river that changes things in its path through persistence and see's the world as it journeys bringing life wherever it wanders.

Our Mascot:
A Bull Moose
This is just fun because 1. Bull Moose are beautiful majestic delicious creatures and 2. With a House full of boys coming from parents that grew up in the mountains of Utah and the wilderness of Alaska it seemed like the only logical option.

The Heart of a Doer..

Today I met two of the most interesting people I have ever encountered in my life. One is a full time sailor from Seward, Alaska and the other a bush pilot from northern Canada. Together they sailed the northwest passage last year. My husband knew him from some seasonal slope work he had done before embarking on this epic voyage. We met his wife for the first time today. She had happen to land in the same small Canadian town on the same day he pulled in to do some repairs at the beginning of this trip, then joined him for the rest of the adventure.

She had flown over this area many times but loved seeing it from the sea for the first time. She described the beauty of Greenland as they traveled through the outlying islands in their way to Iceland to pick up the sail boat we were now sitting on as Heber checked out the engine room James looked at maps and chased their cat and Dodge happily played with sockets in the hull.

She told me about the previous owners of the sailboat, which were a family with 3 kids who sailed the Carribean in an 800 sqft boat for years. Small evidences of children were quietly echoed with the pink bed skirts on the bunks and the marker under the map table. What stories they must have had to tell.

As we visited he showed us pictures of a small cabin he had built outside Seward last fall with his high school aged son to each him discipline and the value of work. They plan on staying docked there until he graduates, teaching sailing and scuba lessons and fixing engines, so he can see more of his Son.

Eventually after sailing Antarctica they hope to homestead in Idaho and live completely off the grid. 

At this point we had a lot to talk about, different investments and land options, professional outfitting and horseback riding. The value of raising boys in the country. The enthusiasm reverberated between us growing with each pass. We actually have a lot in common.

The conversation ended with how neither of us plan much more than 3 years ahead because so much can change between now and then for "doers" or "livers of life".

Up until this point I had felt a little intimidated by these true adventures and modern explorers. What in the world could a stay at home mom who has never been further east than Minneapolis for a work trip say to them?!

Yet whenever I picture my perfect life they are exactly the type of people I imagine having over for dinner parties. Interesting dynamic unique individuals with stories to tell and life battered wisdom to impart. Only every time I slip into this fantasy I am slapped back to reality with "What would people like that be doing in rural Idaho at a farmhouse dinner table?" and "What would interest them to sit at yours?"I sit perplexed.

I think deeply but rarely get into philosophical discussions. I paint amateurishly. I read mostly books about how to better educate my children and not burn the chicken. As interesting and well traveled as I'd like to be, I've spent my last 4 years pregnant, nursing, dreaming and posting hilarious toddler quotes on Facebook. The thing is though, I'm not ashamed of it. There will be years of home school adventures and outdoor trips and exotic travel. My life may seem ordinary and expected from the outside but inside it is full of wonder and richness that can only come from high quality ingredients given time to simmer together. And doers will see that, because it's not WHAT you do that makes you a liver of life, it's the heart and energy you put into it that draws like minded and similar spirited people to you.

One of my favorite pages to follow on Facebook is "Humans of New York" because the author of this group has an amazing talent of running into ordinary people on the street and pulling out extraordinary, thought provoking, or touching stories from their lives and perspectives. He sees meeting people as a grand adventure and presents his work to us in such a way that leaves us hopeful and curious about humanity. Its not that the people are that wonderful it's just that we see things through his lens that is.

This is how doers view life as something to engage in. Its a lens that makes everything curious, interesting, thrilling. This is how some people have the gift to see the divinity in others. They are not only what is there but can be or was.

I remember reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" for a college persuasion class. One of the key principles is to be genuinely interested in their lives. A doer is always interested and because of this learns things and gains associations that others may over look. And in the end, that's what makes them interesting.

Who is the most interesting person you've ever met? What drew you to them?

12 Things You Can Do to Chase the Blues Away

We've all been there. Stuck in a rut, tired, discouraged. Maybe it's a little cabin fever from the never ending dark winter months. Maybe it's the spring "school burnout" that that hits public and homeschoolers alike. Dare I even mention postpartum blues or depression? My point is that we all have the ups and downs for one reason or another and sometimes it takes more than a "shift in attitude" to break out of a funk.

I have suffered from depression a few times now and I'm not about to make light of the subject because for some there definitely is a chemical component or deeper issue that needs to be addressed. If you show signs of depression for more than 2 weeks PLEASE get some professional help because trust me you are loved and needed and they can help you feel like yourself again.

For me though I find I can usually head it off with a few simple changes:

1. Wake up! I know not everyone is a morning person and I could wax poetic about the benefits of starting your day earlier but whatever your wake up time is DO NOT sleep in. Do not mumble around the house half asleep either. When it is time to wake up start moving on your morning routine. Since we are moms I would also strongly suggest waking up before your kids or at least with them, this will feel like you have a head start advantage, having even a few minutes of quiet "me time" will be so surprisingly refreshing you may become obsessed and they won't have the time to make BIG messes before the day even starts. It also sets the tone that mom is in control and ready to take on the day (even if you are not quite there yet) which will give them a feeling of security and comfort. I know it's hard but really what quality of sleep are you getting when they are already up anyway and how fun is it to wake up to a mess or a fight? This one is a game changer.

2. Get Dressed, and I don't just mean clean yoga pants. Start your day with a fresh outfit and do your hair even if you are staying home for the day. If you are into jewelry wear it, if make up is your thing find a way to put your face on before you leave the house. I personally always feel better with some cute toenails but whatever it is that makes you feel like you would be happy to run into someone you know, get your self to that point at the start of your day.

3. Clean. I don't mean clean your whole house or break out the white gloves I mean tidy up the space you are going to be living in for the day (usually the kitchen or living room) You will feel like you've accomplished something at the start of your day which may set "getting things done" attitude in motion or at least you can't bemoan having done nothing all day when life gets real. You will also have a blank slate to start from and would be surprised at how much more peaceful the kids are in a clean peaceful environment, suddenly the "I'm bored" turns into creative play. It's also a good way to practice being more mindful and in the moment as you wipe down counters or re shelve books. This is also a great one to get the kids out of their funk too. Working on a project together will help bond you and give them a sense of accomplishment.

4. Do one thing to Set Yourself up for Success. Whether that is starting a load of laundry because you notice your kids are on their last pair of pajamas, starting the dishwasher so you don't have to scrounge for spoons, make a grocery list before going to the store, or putting dinner in the crock-pot because you know that evening is going to be crazy. Do one thing where later you can say "Thanks past self, you really got my back".

5. Go Outside! Seriously, even if it is just to the front lawn or if it is cold outside then leave the house to run an errand or grab a soda. The fresh air will wake up your lungs, you and the kids won't feel couped up or trapped in the house, vitamin D REALLY helps with depression, and there is a lot of detail in a snowflake or garden to help you get out of your own head. I usually like to combine this one with the next one too.

6. Exercise. Especially if you can't be outside very long. Find away for you to move your body by doing a workout video, going tot the gym, an impromptu dance party. Take the kids to a play land or a indoor jump house. I really like doing yoga because the slow stretches leave you feeling refreshed and not flushed and it's something I can do even if I'm dealing with a back injury or a pregnancy. Also when you are down you don't always move very fast but this brings you into intentional movement.

7. Teach your Kids Something New. This isn't a novel concept for homeschoolers but maybe it means stepping away from the curriculum for the day to explore something that caught their interest. Maybe it means talking about their grandma or growing up on a farm. Perhaps you just spend a little more time reading to them, pull out the painting supplies, or let them pick a game to play with you. This connecting with them in a meaningful way will help them feel loved, help you to step out of a routine that may be stifling both your growth and theirs, and help you to see your daily work in a new light.

8. Take a Shower or a bath. Sometimes you just need to clear your head under some running water, be alone, take a few breaths and come back at it. I actually like to shower in the late afternoons. I have long hair that takes several hours to dry and don't want to be held back by it in the morning or go to sleep with wet hair, it also refreshes me the way the naps refresh my kids so I'm ready for the evening rush, but find a time that works for you and some good smelling shampoo :)

9. Call a Friend or better yet meet up with one! I don't mean like their Facebook status or text about the PTA meeting. I mean call them on the phone and ask about their day. This helps you get out of your own horriblizing and pity parties by thinking about others. It's also always fun to talk to someone you connect with and can give  you a fresh perspective. It can also lead to...

10. Do an Act of Service. Yes as moms everything we do is service to our kids, which is great, but I'm talking about getting out of your world and into someone else's. Is there a neighbor who is sick and might like a fresh loaf of bread? Do you know an new mom who could use a few hours of baby sitting? Can your kids make cards for their great grandma and hand deliver them? Can you practice reading with your nephew? or teach your neighbor to cross stitch? Using your talents to bless others helps you feel needed and valued. I find it best when the kids can participate too because then they get to feel the joy of serving, it gives them something to do, and it teaches them how to be aware of the needs of others.

11. Go to Bed. I know that "me time" is so important when you are feeling consumed but do you need 5 hours of it into the middle of the night? What is the quality of the me time you're getting on your 6th episode of binge watching Hulu? By all means take some time to watch a show, catch up on a blog, or have a piece of chocolate but then go to bed early enough that waking up tomorrow wasn't as hard as waking up today. One that goes hand in hand with this is

12. Turn Off Your Screens. It helps you fall asleep quicker and get better rest. It also helps you be present instead of using Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, etc. as an escapist method. Not having our phone to look at constantly helps you face what it is that is bothering you and make better use of our time by being productive, connecting with others, or simply getting more restful sleep.

*Bonus tip* I know not everyone is religious but for me spending time on my knees in prayer and in the Word of God is foundational to feeling peace. I often slip out of these habits but even just asking for help to get through the day can give me so much strength and serenity I couldn't write this post without mentioning the grace that God offers us through his Son that can help us overcome all things. Including ourselves.

What helps you break out of the blues?

"Do You Know What I Love About You?" (5 ways to TELL your child you love them.)

One little question and a smile creeps across his face. He tries to hide his excitement as he answers "No mom, what do you just love about me?"

It's no secret that kids love to hear kind words and if you are familiar with "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman then you know we should be pouring our love out in all five languages to kids as often as we can. His basic theory is that there are five ways we show/ receive love from others and everyone has a preferred way to 'speak' and 'hear' love from one another. The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, The Gift of Time, Acts of Service, and Gifts (click the links to blog posts about the other love languages).  I'm starting to see a preference in my oldest for words of affirmation. Our words carry so much weight with our kids when they are little but even more so when this is the primary way they seek our love and attention.

But what are "Words of Affirmation"? These are the things we say (or write) to our children that tell them they are doing a good job, they are loved, they are needed and they are wanted. Sometimes when this isn't YOUR primary love language its hard to "speak" it to the ones who are eagerly waiting to hear it from you. My husband likes to jokingly say "I told you I loved you once and if that ever changes I'll let you know" but for someone who needs to HEAR his love daily that would be torture! So I thought I'd share some of the ways I'm learning to speak to my son (and my sister) who need to literally hear my love.

One way my preschooler just loves is simply asking "Do you know what I love about you?" followed by a specific example of something about who he is or what he has been doing lately. Like "I love how you take the time to include your younger brother when you play with your trains, that is very thoughtful." or "I love how you think of ways to make great grandma comfortable when she visits and how concerned you are when she is sick, that shows a lot of love" or "I love when you try to do things your self. That takes initiative." Giving specific examples shows that you are paying attention to what they are doing or trying to do. Labeling virtues helps them understand them better when you are trying to teach what initiative, empathy, and hard work are as well as helps them associate those characteristics with themselves. It builds confidence and a stronger sense of self and confirms your love and involvement in their life.

Something my husband and I like to do is to SAY A SPECIAL PRAYER with them at bedtime. Just the three of us where we thank God for them and list specific things they have done to bring joy to our life and contribute to the family. We also pray for things they are concerned about or struggling with to show them that we are aware of their strengths and with them in their struggles and that our Heavenly Father is too.

For the Child who likes to write I've heard of several mothers who KEEP A JOURNAL that the two of them write back and forth to each other when ever they feel the need to and leave on each other's pillow when it needs to be read. This is a great way to keep the communication flowing when the kids get older and have a hard time articulating themselves in the moment it's also a sneaky way to get them to practice their handwriting.

If your child is not yet writing you can DRAW A PICTURE of them doing something extraordinary and tell them about it. For example my boys are very much into being strong lately. So I drew a picture of my son carrying a heavy box and told him it was because he was SO strong. We talked about what could be in the box and how strong he would have to be to lift it. Also what he can do to get stronger. Yes it did help with this language development and some early math concepts but what I was really trying to do was reach his heart and show him that I know his desires, believe in his dreams, and want to help him reach his goals.

Often though its much easier than all this. You can simply look at them until you have their attention. Smile and say "I just love you. Always. No matter what". You can tell them this when they are happy, when they are sniffling after a fit, when they are tired or hurt. The more you say it the more they will believe it.

Before you know it you will here them say "Mom I just Love You" out of the blue or "Dad, you know what I like about you? You cook me breakfast everyday" or "James you can do hard things because you are STRONG like daddy" they pattern their language after ours so lets let our language be one of love, affirmation, and teaching.

If you haven't had a chance to check out the 5 love languages here is an affiliate link to my favorite of his books:

Raising Boys in a Feminist World

As a mother of boys my perspective on feminism has changed so much. 

I follow "A Mighty Girl" and have decided not all feminism is a twisted way for yet another person to speak for us collectively as women in regards to our social and political views. Our Fore-mothers have done so much to make the life I know and live possible and to discount that would be be selfish and wrong. I still take issue with unreasonable accommodation or the thought that jobs would be given BECAUSE of gender to fit some affirmative action law instead of being granted because of MERIT... but I have seen first hand how incredibly sexist the work place can still be in 2016. 

There are still legitimate cultural barriers for women today, so the work of feminism marches forward, and my part largely will be the work I do within the walls of my own home. I liked the idea of raising a strong, brave, smart girl who is confident enough to be feminine and supportive of her man without the guilt of betraying the feminist movement and assertive at work and in her community without the shame of being "bossy" or "bitchy" because she is a well spoken woman instead of a well spoken man.

I feel that traditional gender roles do not in anyway take away from progressive change for women when fulfilled with a sense of integrity. I'm not likely to have a girl (since i'm pretty sure we are done after this one) but I'll have 3 boys who will one day be 3 men. These men will see women as strong capable partners. They will know how to treat them with respect because their father treats me with respect. Good men who are not ashamed of their masculinity, and have a strong enough sense of self to know that masculinity and kindness are not mutually exclusive but are actually one in the same; are just as important as strong women who are not embarrassed by their femininity and know that soft can be strong.  I am honored to get to raise 3 of them and pray that I do an adequate job of showing them what a woman can be. As a stay at home mom I can show them how women cook, clean and nurture but also how they work, lead, learn and teach. The work I do will shape how they see, and talk about, and date women. So all you parents out there raising valiant, fierce, beautiful girls can rest safe knowing there are strong, loving, capable men for them to marry. The work I do will redeem the next generation from the threat of undervaluing men or putting the pressure on women to "do it all" when doing what they love is enough by setting a mold for strong families.

And if that's not powerful, I don't know what is.